1.28.2013

been there, cleansed that


This past weekend I decided to give the Dr Oz 3 Day Detox a shot.  Giving up alcohol, candy, and soda for the month of January wasn't really making me feel all that much better so I needed a jump start.  And I figured I only have about another week where I am abstaining from alcohol so why not give it a shot.  Plus a few other bloggers I read posted their reviews of if and it didn't seem that bad.  Some other friends had just done the Blueprint Cleanse and that seemed too advanced for me.  Smoothies seemed easier than a straight up juice cleanse-at least there would be substance to what I was drinking. 

DAY 1:  I started on a Friday.  I made my breakfast and lunch smoothies the night before so there wasn't too much going on this morning trying to blend what seemed like 50 fruits and vegetables at one time.  Now I am not going to lie and tell you I didn't have any coffee.  I did.  Just not as much as I normally drink--which is like 10 cups a day if you are counting 6oz as a cup.  The breakfast smoothie wasn't terrible.  The lunch smoothie...well, that's kind of another story.  It's got a lot of cucumber in it and the cucumber taste is overwhelming.  I omitted the celery because the reviews said it was too much. And the coconut oil.  That crap kind of balled up so it was like drinking little balls of suntan lotion in your thick cucumber water. It took me over and hour to drink this bottle of lunch.  And the warmer it got, the less I wanted to drink it.  It was shortly after lunch when my tummy started to talk to me.  Not out of hunger but out of "what the hell do you think you're doing lady" talk.  The gas pains were starting (they really didn't go away until the next morning). The dinner drink wasn't terrible but I am an idiot and threw in the avocado skin and all.  This made for a gritty drink that wasn't very good either.  Around 8:30 that night I really thought I was going to cut someone for a piece of bread.  Or a bagel.  Or a piece of cake.  Or a donut.  Or a roll.  Or anything that was a carb.  

DAY 2: Woke up an hour before my alarm which was 6am.  On a Saturday.  I am not sure I like this cleanse so much.  Felt much better than the night before though my stomach still hurt a little.  Working out wasn't terrible and I wasn't starving after.  I had a cup of coffee.  I had the breakfast smoothie a little later than I normally eat breakfast but by 1:30 I still wasn't hungry for lunch.  The lunch smoothie didn't seem as bad as yesterday-maybe because I was prepared, maybe because I drank while driving and was therefore distracted, or maybe I just sucked it up and chugged.  I didn't have the snack drink, mostly because I was too lazy to clean the blender AGAIN, and I didn't want the lunch smoothie as my snack, and because I wasn't terribly hungry.  By 6:30, I was pretty hungry.  I remember to take the avocado out of it's skin before blending and the dinner shake was much better.  The Ginger was texting me what his sister in law made for his birthday dinner and I almost drove to Chicago to choke him out between the photos of lasagna and Smitten Kitchen's Tiny But Intense Chocolate Cake with homemade whipped cream.  After the dinner smoothie I had a surprising amount of energy.  I was seriously craving to chew something, so I ate an apple that would have been in the snack smoothie- I figured it was OK.  Then I washed all my makeup brushes, wiped down all the makeup dust off of everything in my bathroom, did some laundry, texted, online stalked people at Alt Summit (don't ask me why)--all before forcing myself to sleep around midnight. 

DAY 3:  Woke up before 6.  Oh hell no cleanse, this is not acceptable.  So I read twitter, refreshed looking for anyone I knew to tweet something/anything.  Do you know what I learned?  Most of the people I follow on twitter aren't up at 6 am on a Sunday.  Nor are they posting instagram photos.  Pinterest was too dangerous with all those food posts.  Time seemed to be standing still.  My run went well all things considered but it was only a little over 3 miles.  Afterwards though was tough.  I was HANGRY.  And bored, I didn't really have anything to do to distract me (Target and internet shopping instead).  For the lunch smoothie, I left out to coconut oil and that made it a tad bit more palatable but not much. By early evening, I was dreaming about the next morning's breakfast of cottage cheese and light multigrain bread.  Along with the dinner smoothie, I ate some celery and peanut butter and cream cheese-must have been missing the fat from the coconut oil.  But I made it!

I would totally do this again now that I know what to expect  but it won't be anytime soon.  Now where  is that bread???

1 comment:

Mel said...

Hell to the NO. No cleanse for me. I eat too much. I need food. SOLID food.