I hate tax season. But not for the reasons one might think. I hate tax season because that means my mom goes to her accountant and then for months after she talks about how I should date her accountant's son. This has been going on for the last 10 years....no joke, 10 years! Even when I was with someone, she still would try and sell me on this guy. I guess she hates my taste in men too.
Here are some of the selling points she gave me on why I should date her accountant's son:
- We went to the same college. Just not at the same time. He is a few years older so I don't know him or would have even ever run in to him. If just going to the same college was a selling point, I should be glad I didn't go to a bigger school because she would be trying to set me up with anyone that ever graduated from there.
- He has a phD. In some science field. Um...not sure why this is a selling point other than he has an advanced degree. I am not a science person. In college I took all the non lab science classes I could because I am a science idiot.
- He has a house. Granted it's his parents' old house so he didn't actually buy it. His parents just moved in to a different one so he took theirs.
- He likes to cross breed orchids. Yep, she used this as a selling point. Am I 80? Also, I kill plants. Quickly. With this point, I am pretty sure she wants to date him because she is the plant lady. Who cross breeds orchids? I am afraid he might chloroform me and try to cross breed me.
- And my favorite-----"He has a boat. And you like water. " This is seriously what she said. Yeah, I like clear water like a pool. And I like drinking on a pontoon boat on a small lake in Michigan. What's that you say mom, he has a boat----well, we should get married!
I am sure that she will try to set me up with any male under the age of 60 at the pool in her retirement community when I go to visit her next month. Stayed tuned.