well, I got one of these but that's really about it

At least I work full time.

The rest of them I do kind of half-assed. My house is kind clean---totally wouldn't pass the white glove test. (But isn't the sign of a clean house the sign of a wasted life?)

As for a healthy dinner, does a Lean Cuisine count?! No, well than poo on you.

And I am working on the fit, trim & well grommed.

Laundry---well, that's a whole other story.

Great sex life?!...see post about dating a co-worker.


here a boob, there a boob, everywhere a boob...and a breast pump

Rue and I went on our first road trip this past weekend.  
The weekend was filled with cheap alcohol. Lots and lots of cheap alcohol. And boobs.  And chips. And boob talk. And cookies.  And breast pumping.  And Julie's amazing Rice Krispy treats. And more breast pumping.

 Margarita in a can?! Absolutely!

There was a little bit of seriousness included--a trip to the Flight 93 memorial. 

The newly dedicated permanent memorial.

Who doesn't love a fire?

A trip to the lodge for more cocktails.

Good friends!

I have known three of these ladies since high school!  It's always so much fun to spend time with them even if it means listening to more talk about breast feeding than one should endure in a 48 hour period.  
And next year, if I see someone else's boobs more than I see my own, there will be payback!  Just sayin'.


Sunday Bacon

I went to PA for a quick weekend trip with some friends from high school and Bacon went to stay at Grandma's house.  
Now we're both a little tired.  



Meet Rue. Miss McClanahan, if you're nasty! She's kind of mature but still fun and sassy and slutty---just like I hope to be and considering in a few short weeks I am turning 35 so we have the mature (in age not personality) part down.

Monday night I picked up my new car. Buying a new car isn't really a good time-I might have cussed out a few people after a dealer snafu (looks like I might have the sassy part down too) but all was made right in the world and I left a happy camper. Driving a new car is a good time. I love her!

While a still an SUV, she has a little pep in her step.

I have totally forgotten about the Jeepster. Good thing too because I don't want Rue getting any ideas that I still have feelings for my old car.


i've got a crush on you

I have a crush on a guy at work.  The concept of this goes against my strict "You don't get your meat where you get your bread policy." But I have a lot of rules and maybe it's time to loosen up on some of them-and I know a few people who have successfully dated (and eventually married) co-workers.  The problem is, I have the dating social skills of a 12 year old girl.  In that if I think you are cute and want to make out with you, I am completely unable to talk to you.  And if I can talk to you...UGH, cringe worthy conversation. So because of my complete lack of social skills, I asked a friend to find out details about him (Seriously, how have I ever managed to date anyone with these awesome skills?)...sexual preference, relationship status, age, etc.  He straight, single, and 26. 26?!  Welcome to Cougartown! That means when I was driving he was in first grade.  When I was able to legally buy beer, he was 12.  Age gap and a co-worker...ugh.  I must really like his beard to continue with this crush.  Maybe this week, I will pass him a note that says "Do you like me?  Check yes or no."


Sunday Bacon

Clearly, Bacon is bored by me.


a double dose of Bacon

 Go Browns!
I guess it's time to bust out the orange collar to match the jersey.  And the jersey is a little tight after Bacon's off-season workout regime of beer and beer and more beer.

remembering that day--10 years later

What I remember about that day wasn't special or unique but it's mine.  I was living in Columbus at the time but I was back in Cleveland to visit with my mom for a day or two.  The night of September 10th, I had fallen asleep in my childhood bedroom and left the TV on.  On the morning of 9.11, I woke up to the Today Show and the first plane had just hit the tower.  I remember the confusion about what we were witnessing.  And I watched as the second plane hit the second tower.  OH SHIT!  Now the Pentagon, WHAT THE HELL?!  And what's this about a plane turning around over Cleveland (Flight 93) ?!  
I remember having an appointment, getting in the car and listening to Howard Stern (he was kind of amazing that day---in all that was going on he remained a true professional  Sirius replayed the broadcast recently and it took me right back to that morning).  I remember getting a call from my co-worker who had no access to radio or TV or anything outside of the store and her being scared and not knowing what was going on.  I remember calling friends who had family members working in the WTC and their terror of not being able to reach them.  I remember being glued to the television for what seemed like days after the attack.  I remember the mall was closed (I worked retail) for a few hours a few days after the attack for the memorial and how surprised I was that businesses were willing to close so their workers and their shoppers could watch the memorial-when was the last time a business did the right thing instead of the thing that makes them the most money?  And I remember the sadness, the stillness, the somberness of it all.  Everything was kind of the same yet totally different.  

In a couple of weeks, I am going on a girls weekend and we are staying right outside of Shanksville, PA.  I have been there before and I am hoping to go back to see the memorial.  It's one of the oddest places I have ever been to--there is a heaviness in the air, something about the space just makes you quiet yourself in reflection (I guess that would be the definition of hallowed ground).  As soon as I stepped out of the car, I began to cry.  Just thinking about my visit to that spot makes my eyes well up with tears--the trinkets left, the benches with all the passenger names, the stones with the words "Let's Roll" engraved on them.
9.11.01 was one of the first national tragedies that I was alive for.  I try and remember those people who gave their lives, the heroes of the day, the first responders, the people who lost a loved one.  It was a day that changed our world so we should Never Forget.


is it the weather?

(Greenhouse Tavern's steak tartare--aka raw meat!)

I haven't been feeling it lately.

I haven't felt funny, or witty, or charming, or even all that snarky. I haven't felt the need for a good passive/aggressive rant. (I am so disappointed in myself. )

I don't know what I have been feeling but I do know I have been thinking a lot about weight loss and Weight Watchers and working out and weighing myself. And a fit and healthy blogger I am not. Nor do I want to be---god, please let me talk about something other than points and pounds lost or what size pant I am now in or today's workout. The thought of it makes me want to bash my own head in to the wall.

I don't even have any good, funny stories. I haven't embarrassed myself all that much recently or if I have, the memory of it is still too raw to share. Sure, I've had some fun. Sure, I have laughed so hard I might have piddled myself just a little bit. Sure, I have also gotten angry and wanted to hit something. Sure, I have been so sad that I had to call off work and wallow. But for all the emotions the last few weeks have brought me, they have not made for good posts.

Maybe I feel the need to edit myself a little bit and that's not helping the cause. I have become a little too aware that people I don't know read this. And people that I kind of know read this. And people I know really well read this. I guess I want to protect the innocent (myself included) a little bit--unless, of course, you are out to dinner with me and then one the innocents might have a whole table full of ladies talking about raw meat. oops!


Sunday Bacon

He's so pouty.  Typical man. 
Usually girls are so excited to go get a mani-pedi--not boys.  Nope, they act like it's torture.  Secretly the love it. 

I guess I am not alone

Everyone is loving them some Pitbull these days-I should have figured because I hear that one song like every 10 minutes on the radio.  But even high fashion is all about Pitbull-this video is for Lanvin.

And these models totally stole my dance moves.


excuse me, excuse me...can I get with you tonight?

I have a very distinct type.

I love me some short, balding yet hairy men. Facial hair a plus too. Can't grow it on your head but yet is in abundance elsewhere? Yep, will you be mine?

Cleveland is full of this type--so why is it that I am single?! I guess that's a topic for another day.

But, that brings me to Pitbull. I don't think he would be considered cute by traditional standards. But there is just something about him. And did anyone see him in those red pants and the VMA's?! That man was wearing those red pants.

And that voice---the little bit of gravel.

Did you hear that noise?

That was my panties hitting the floor.


because I really need to post about something that isn't Bacon or Bertha

Hey look! It's not a post about a spider or Bacon.

Last night I headed out with Charity and her friend Elizabeth to the 2 Wheels and Heels ride.

The three of us biked from Charity's house in Lakewood to Redstone. We wanted to get a few extra miles in...or we just wanted to ride bikes on a BEAUTIFUL night in Cleveland.

I wish I could say this photo is blurry because I am protecting the person's identity but really it's because I was riding my bike and I don't have the steadiest of hands. I named the girl in the white a "Menace to Society" because 30 seconds in to the ride she cut me off. A few more times she wasn't paying attention and cut us off again. She also almost took Charity out on the Lorain Carnegie Bridge. Menace!

Hey look it's another blurry photo.

We rode across the Detroit Superior bridge. And while I am afraid of heights, this bridge wasn't so bad. How I wish this photo was clear.

So many ladies on bikes. Everyone wanted to know what we were riding for. It really, really confused them when we yelled back.."FOR FUN!!!" I guess a group of women can't ride their bikes around downtown without people thinking it's for some cause. I guess it was for a cause...the FUN FOUNDATION!

I wore appropriate jewelry for the evening.

It was my first time at Joy Machines Bike Shop---I picked up a sweet bell and some lights for my bike.

I even tried on a helmet or two. Charity, I promise I will actually purchase a helmet ASAP.

After the ride, we finished the evening at the ABC Tavern.

And yes, ketchup goes really well with Jack and Ginger!

Ugh, whiskey/bourbon. How I hate you and love you all at the same time.

Last night was so much fun. I am still smiling.

Happy Thursday peeps.