Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Fung Achng Tum Chng Fum Afung Fung Ooh

It's the middle of February and I am going crazy from this weather--the cold, the lack of sun, the snow, the ice, the lack of sun. Did I mention the cold? I have turned in to that crazy lady who complains about the weather incessantly and dresses her dog up. I ride the elevator and complain about the weather with strangers. Who am I?! I am officially an asshole. Even though if you know me in real life, you might have already figured this fact out way before the dead of winter and long before I even bought a dog. But this winter has made it worse, made me worse. I am actually craving warmer weather so I can go run outside. Do anything outside. Wear something less than 3 layers of clothes not including my underwear.

I know it's Cleveland. I know it's supposed to be cold and snowy and gray this time of year. In my heart of hearts, I know it is. It doesn't mean winter sucks any less. I was saving my tax return to put glass block windows in the basement (one of the few things I wanted in a house but compromised on) but I am SERIOUSLY tempted to be irresponsible and say “F that. I am going on a vacation--somewhere warm. Somewhere with bugs that are as big as my dog. Somewhere where the locals say “mon” or something equally as obnoxious and would possibly make you throw something at their head if the country was so beautiful and warm. Somewhere with cocktails served with little umbrellas. Somewhere with a swim up bar so I don't even have to leave my spot to pee.”

I would ask who’s coming with me but considering I am an asshole and I basically just told you I would pee on you (or at the best case scenario, next to where you are standing) I am guessing that there aren’t going to be a whole lot of takers.

image found here.


Alana said...

Duuuuuuuude, I want to run outside, too. This is horse shit.

Hungry In Cleveland said...

I have been running outside. I love layers, specifically under armor. And I have found dual usage for some of my snowboarding gear (hat, neckie, gloves)

Fizzgig said...

this winter is just ridiculous. that, or its age. the older i get the less tolerable I am of it. My fingers never use to get cold INSIDE!

and, dogs are for dressing up! they love it!

Sara said...

I am so taking that trip. If the family and I hadn't already decided to hit Florida in March, I'd totally volunteer to have you pee next to me. And I don't even know you!