I dream of a very sparkly genie

These horrible sequin pants from J.Crew were featured in Vogue magazine's Most Wanted for the Week of 7.29.10.  Seriously, sequin harem pants.  $650 sequin harem pants...in Vogue.  Granted the list came from J.Crew's own Jenna Lyons.  But are they serious, who is buying these pants?!

you're always hot in Chanel

Joe Zee of Elle magazine and The City wears this insane crazy person suit in NYC on a hot day...
I don't know if I love the fact he is wearing a Chanel faux fur suit on a hot summer day or the fact he is wearing a Jansport backback.  Carry on...


lessons learned on the Tartine patio

My mouth gets me in to trouble. So does a glass of wine or a beer or a white sangria or a regular sangria or...you're getting the picture. One cocktail and I might tell you I don't like your shirt or your boyfriend is a jerk or how I once "dated" three guys on the same street of 9 houses within a few months of each other. Two cocktails and I might tell you about how the potatoes at one popular local restaurant remind me of old man balls...shriveled and wrinkly and to be honest a bit tough and inedible. (At least I didn't tell this to the chef, or even put it on the blog--I normally don't blog and drink at the same time even though it might seem like I do.) Three cocktails and I might insult you, your blog, and possibly your mom, even if I barely know you and actually think you are kind of funny. Oops.

So I am going to apologize for the trouble my mouth has gotten me in to in the past....and I am going to go ahead and apologize for any future things I might say after a couple of cocktails. I swear your shirt/boyfriend/dinner/blog/mom are awesome. (And I swear I am no longer as slutty as that summer of 2007) I am just drinking some haterade!


get in shape, girl

Yesterday I saw a woman in the lobby of my office building walking funny so it drew my attention to her shoes. After noticing she was wearing Shape-Ups or some sort of Shape-Ups equivalent, I looked at her physique and let's just say the shoes aren't doing their job...she was still out of shape. And I thought to myself, the only things that Shape-Ups do is point out that the wearer is too lazy to put some real effort in to working out.
So thanks Sketchers for making it easier for me to spot lazy people.


the nest...summer edition

Yesterday I saw this magazine in Walgreens.  And I had to buy it because of the front cover...more specifically the caption over the boston terrier.  Here's a closer shot...



a running PSA

Just a little bit of advice to any running ladies with more boob than you know what to do with....make sure you wear a sports bra that is the correct size.  Wear one that is too big and all that movement creates friction and you may or may not end up with a chaffed nipple.  Said nipple may or may not end up inverted to protect itself.  I'm not saying it happened to me, I am just sayin'.

Sunday Bacon

So what that he chewed on my Blackberry....I got a Droid.  And I am happier for it.
So what that he chewed on those sunglasses...they're still wearable and I got a good deal on a pair of Ray Bans as back up.
So what he chewed on my flips flops...it was really time to get rid of that pair, and that pair, and oh yeah-that pair too.
It's a good thing he's cute.


Cleveland tattoo

Normally I don't get the Cleveland Plain Dealer but this past Monday, a free copy (actually two free copies) arrived in the driveway.  I just got around to looking at it...oops, it's been a long week. And in the PDQ section was a the PDQ&A...with a feature on this girl and her tattoos.  She literally wears her love for Cleveland on her sleeve.  I have to say I was a bit intrigued by her tattoos as I have a tattoo of one of the Guardians of Transportation down my left ribcage to hip.  I love some Cleveland tattoos.


I'm on the hunt, I'm after you...

Last week I saw a house I kind of loved...but it kind of had some major drawbacks to it too. Like the second floor wasn't finished. But what an awesome upstairs it would be with some cash...some cash I don't have right now. Anyway. I hemmed and I hawed (????) and someone made a bid on it...and then a counter...and then an accepted offer. All while I was debating how much I loved that house. So...the hunt continues.

image/quote found at Design Crush.


someone help, I think I need a (shopping) intervention...quick

I think I might need a shopping intervention because I kind of want these Birks.  Yeah, I am not kidding and that's what worries me.  I loved my Birks back in the day...and by day I mean 1992.  My friends called me Jesus, it was great.  But my feet were happy.  (even if I did look like a candidate for What Not To Wear with my Birkenstock sandals and wool socks and colored Gap jeans.  Yep, I wore that.  Don't judge.) Does that mean I am going to start wearing long skirts I make myself, go vegan, and twirl?  I am off, I have to tend to my compost pile and hit all the farmer's markets in my Suburu Outback.  
Or maybe just go look at some J.Crew or something, to snap me out of this...


Sunday Bacon

Friday was a rough day and so I decided to go for a run to try and work off some of the anxiety from work and house hunting.  It was a bad run, super craptastic-much like the day so at least it was consistent.  So I decided to walk and try to enjoy some part of being in the park.  I found a path and Bacon and I headed down to play along the river bank.  Bacon was tentative at first---then he loved it.  So much so that we went again this morning.  He was having so much fun he couldn't be bothered to look at the camera.

Beer belt

My friend from college, Sara, posted this photo of her brother's belt on Facebook.  
This belt is AWESOME.  How can you not love a belt that has an embroidered Busch can on it?!

I think I need a cocktail or something, I am seeing a real pattern with some of the more recent posts.


if the wine rack isn't your thing...

There is always the wine helmet.  (as modeled by Zach Galifianakis)
Personally I am not sure which would be my choice---I don't really need any breast enhancing, but the wine rack is so much more discreet.  Decisions, decisions.

image found here


Wow! Now we're just getting a little ridiculous.

LeBron didn't make any friends in Cleveland last week.  This first one isn't so bad...and it's true.

This second one is one step away from those Big Johnson shirts in terms of tactful t-shirt ware.

In case you are missing your Big Johnson t-shirt and you want a t-shirt that implies some sexy time is happening, you can get these shirts at Kiss My Ass LeBron.


Wine rack

It's a sports bra, it's wine storage container, and it's a sippy cup...all in one.
This bra fits an entire bottle of wine in it. And it enhances your bust line. But can you imagine the awkward work conversation when your co-workers notice you decreasing bust line as the day goes on (and that pesky smell of booze on your breath)?

it's available here, and it's only $30. What a bargain for being able to breast feed yourself!


Boca Java, you guys are geniuses

I like coffee and I like bacon. (Maple's not such a bad flavor either.) This blend of coffee kind of sounds like breakfast in a mug.
you can order it online too.

summer fashion FYI

No, you cannot wear a regular bra with a strapless dress. I don't care if you put a sweater/cover-up/shirt on over it. If you can't wear a strapless bra, you can't wear a tube dress. Period. That is all....
image found here.


John Mayer's Decision

I kind of think John Mayer is a douche.  But this made me chuckle just a little bit.


Sunday Bacon

I don't think Bacon wants to come in the house, he wants to tan or become the exorcist because I have no idea how his head turns that way.  I think I am leaning more towards exorcist because yesterday upon returning home after having a few too may wedding cocktails, I found my freshly mopped kitchen floor covered in puppy vomit.  (stupid new treats)


We came, we saw, we witnessed (you being an asshole)

Cleveland is used to disappointment. We will go on. We will survive. We still don't have a sports Championship-we're no better, no worse for him leaving. And it's not that he's leaving that I am really upset about-he has every right to leave. (A lot of people I know choose to take their talents elsewhere. Isn't that part of our problem?) What upsets me is the way he told everyone he was leaving. How about a little head's up to Dan Gilbert and the Cavs front office-he let LeBron run the team as he saw fit and that's the thanks he got, he had to watch it on TV with the rest of us? How about not going on TV to tell everyone he was breaking up with us? How about a nice text message? Nope, he needed to make it a media spectacle. Embarrass us even further.
All yesterday's Decision really proved to me is that LeBron wasn't strong enough to get it done here in Cleveland and instead of trying to prove what a real man, what a real King he was, he chose to take the easy way out and ride the coat tails of his buddies.
A true Clevelander would have stayed and fought.


the tears of a clown

"Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
Like a clown I pretend to be glad"

I was looking through a friend's photos recently and I notice how their photos paint the picture of everything being sunshine and roses not only in their life but their friends' lives too.  Except I know that these pictures of happiness can be deceiving, things are not what they seem. 

I unfortunately can't hide when I am upset or sad or pissed off or tired or annoyed (and I have been all of these in the last couple of months-especially with my family and some of my friends. Just ask me, I will tell you).  I try to hide my true feelings but it's written all over my face.  I just don't what the point of using up all that energy to try and paint a false picture to the outside world. 

I need that energy to kick LeBron's ass for dissing my city on NATIONAL F-ING TELEVISION.  


"More to love" They are kidding me with this....aren't they?!

Seriously, that's a purse?  For who, a giant?  Or is this model just representing the lollipop guild and welcoming us to Munchkin Land?
gigantic purse available at LuLu's 


Martha Stewart Pets at PetSmart

While doing some "emergency" shopping in NY for pet chewy things/toys/anything but my feet, arms or additional pairs of shoes, I stumbled upon Martha Stewart's new line of pet stuff at PetSmart.  I guess I am all about sequins (or shiny things-Elvis t-shirt) these between that J.Crew sweater and this t-shirt.  I kind of loved it in the store but when I went to the site and saw Bacon's not-as-cute cousin wearing it I really wanted it for Bacon.  Too bad it's not available online and the closest PetSmart is a little bit more of a drive than I really want to make for a pet t-shirt.

I swear I might be a gay man

One because I like guys, two because I have a little dog, and three because I am buying whatever Bravo is selling.  The Rachel Zoe Project is back in less than 1 month!!! The third season premieres August 3rd at 10pm.  Hopefully it will be bananas or I (will) die.


Cleveland Blogger dinner-Amp 150

I am a week and a half late on commenting on this monthly dinner that this month (actually last month now) took place at Amp 150.  I am not apologizing, I am just late.  (It's kind of the new me, stuff falls through the cracks and I am OK with it.) Also I wasn't sure what to say about it to be honest.  But honestly, I didn't love it.  And it kind of hurt my feelings that I didn't love it because so many people love it and go quite often.  
The two things I tried just seemed to be missing something (seasoning, thicker sauce,???) or just a little off.  In theory, I should have loved the Apricot Gnocchi but I didn't love the gnocchi part of the dish. It kind of made me wish it was made out of ricotta like the gnocchi at Lago. 

The flank steak was just was missing something but I can't put my finger on what.  And the potatoes----um, actually inedible they were so overcooked.  (You might be able to tell that from the photo because they look-shriveled.)

This cocktail was really good.  It's a Blackberry Mojito and I could have had 10 of them or ordered them in a pitcher.

While, I didn't love my meal but the service was amazing. And while I also didn't love looking out on the lobby of a hotel, I will be back.  I am not willing to write off a place that everyone else seems to love and rave about after one mediocre meal. Plus the company was great and dinner with them is always a good time.  

Now my favorite part of the evening, besides the cocktails, were the cupcakes that So I Married a Chef aka Carly, brought for us.  I had the limoncello one-it's the one on the left.  And it was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!  Seriously, I think it was the best cupcake I have ever had. Carly has a stand at a farmer's market out on the far east side (306 and Belle, I think) and I am seriously tempted to drive out there to try the other stuff she makes.  And she mentioned her husband was going to possibly be making pretzels.  Anyone wanna take a drive out there in the next few weeks????

Carly also brought these peanut butter bar cookies that I myself didn't try, I was too busy needing a moment over the cupcake but I heard were also amazing.  I seriously hope she brings some more treats to this month's dinner. 

Road trip to Chrissy's (and Brian's) wedding

PA is awful to drive though.  It's about 6 hours...on the same road...across the state...and it's boring.  And where's all that holiday traffic?  Hello, anyone. This didn't make the drive any faster because while there might not have been too many cars, there were 10,000 PA state troopers to catch all the speeders-so basically anyone on the freeway.  (I narrowly missed getting pulled over. ) But yeah, driving across PA sucks.  

The rehearsal dinner on Friday night was on a lovely golf course but for some reason, I didn't think to take any photos of that.  Actually, I think I might have been too scarred from my trip up and down Bear Mountain to actually remember I had a camera.  You see you drive up this mountain road that's all curvy with mountain on one side and the Hudson River on your other side and only a three foot little wall to keep you from plunging to the river. All while having New York drivers ride your ass.  So yeah, I was traumatized.  What I did get of photo of is this and little does Brian know, Chrissy is actually plotting to steal the baby she is holding.

Wedding day--father and bride. (a little shout out to the father of the bride and a new(ish) blog reader, Mr. Juliano)

This is my wedding date, Connor, at the church. Like a typical guy, he slept through the ceremony.

On to the reception.  This is Carrie's husband demonstrating the awesomeness of the appetizer plates.  There were so many appetizers that you actually needed both hands to carry plates full of food.  The was a shrimp table in the middle of the room and I swear some people hit that table like it was the last time they were ever going to see shrimp again-darn oil spill.

And as soon as we entered the main dining room, there was more food already at our places just waiting for us.  Chrissy seriously warned me that I needed to be ready to eat at her wedding but I had no idea how much training I should have done to actually be prepared for the event. 

This was the view from the reception hall.  And the weather was beautiful. A perfect day.

Hello menu!  the food was amazing.

I think Chrissy better watch out, I think the wedding planner is trying to steal her man. She's awfully friendly with that cake...

The wedding was beautiful and you could feel the love that every one in the room had for the couple.  Not only does that make for a beautiful day, but also a very fun one.

The drive back looked a little different than the drive out. This was in Jersey, where I was actively checking out the cars around me looking for The Situation or Pauly D.  Sadly, they weren't around.  But I did a little fist pump in their honor.  When in Jersey....

Here's little Bacon checking to see if the cops are following us. 

And one thing I realized that needed to occur to make this weekend happen...a lot of bugs needed to sacrifice their life for my trip to and back from NY. 

And a reminder for my next road trip with the dog, don't forget dog toys at home.  You will sacrifice a flip flop to keep him from barking in the hotel room and you will end up locating the nearest Petsmart to buy toys the next morning. 


Happy Fourth of July!

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend.

I just got home from an 8+ hour drive from NY for Chrissy's wedding and I am too exhausted to get my camera out of the car to post a little recap of the wedding weekend...and a Bacon photo. These last few weeks have kicked my ass between Memphis, Justine's bachelorette party, Chrissy's wedding, and all the good stuff with my mom (and in reality there is finally some good stuff and it's been more than 3 days so I feel like I can talk about it. She is finally out of the hospital and out of the nursing home, she's actually at home and doing pretty well. It looks like her next surgery will be next month-the surgery to remove the temporary colostomy bag. Keeping my fingers crossed just in case.) One more weekend of planned events to go....

ETA...this little number arrived while I was gone. I seriously want to wear this out like right now. If only I had the desire to get up off my butt.