Who would have thought that 20 years later that Feldman would be the better looking of the two.
The Two Coreys may be the best example of what drugs can do to you. Want to save your looks, stay off the drugs and leave that darn bluetooth at home.
My car is not smelly, I just love stupid air fresheners. Some people have a forest of those stinky trees, I have better taste.
I am afraid that now that I have this F-U air freshener I am going to get pulled over and the friendly (and hopefully forgiving) police officer is not going to be as witty as I am or find me and my air freshener very charming. Maybe a little help from Jesus would be better.
I started reading this book last week and I never knew that 109 pages about corn would be a page turner. The next hundred or so are about grain and "organic" farming. I have enthralled (or possibly bored into submission) my co-workers and friends with talk about corn and government policies and more corn. It's everywhere and it's ruining us. Maybe I need to take a trip to the Corn Palace.
Because one might not believe that I baked cookies from scratch. I provide photographic evidence and the recipe.
Mancino Mountain Cookies
2 sticks butter, melted and cooled
2 1/2 C. sugar
1T. ground clove
1 egg, beaten
1T. baking soda
3 1/2C. flour
Pre-heat oven to 350F.
Combine butter, sugar, clove, cinnamon, egg and salt. Beat well.
In a small cup, dissolve baking soda with 1T. warm water. Add this to mix.
Beat in molasses.
Stir in flour.
On greased cookie sheet, place walnut sized balls spread out.
Bake 7-10 min.
Makes approx. 5 - 6 dozen
is it gonna get easier
is it gonna get tough
are the waters gonna open wider
or are they gonna get rough
are we gonna have to sink right now
are we gonna get to paint this town
deep blue and green, the colors of her eyes lookin at me
early in the morning
Trailer Park Monte Cristo : Beachland Ballroom, ClevelandBobbing in a sea of Blue Ribbon, battered by gale-force amps, you need something solid to hold on to -- and hold down. So: Dip a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich in pancake batter, dunk it in a deep fryer, and dust it with powdered sugar. Voilà: Bar eats supreme. The crisp, cakey crust conceals a molten heart as sweet as Cleveland’s own. (15711 Waterloo Road; 216-383-1124)
This list was created by me, Aimee, and Tiffany one night with a few beers and a few good laughs (and some tears) about boys past.
These first ones in bold are the non-negotiable traits. Even though never appeared on Jerry, Jenny, Rickki, Maury, etc is very important.
Has to like me
He must be single - no wife, no girlfriend
Straight – 100%, no questions
Must not be physically or mentally abusive
Employed – must file tax returns
No drug habit (includes alcohol)
Honors his commitments
Must respect animals
No arrest record (no more than 1 night in jail ex. drunk tank)
Must have same view on children and child rearing
Cannot have a sponsor (unless is a major corporation)
Attractive, not ugly. (Ugly hot reserved for booty calls only)
NO RECYCLING (only booty calls without feelings can be recycled)
Has to drive a car that is not embarrassing to valet park
Cannot live with parents (separate entrance not acceptable)
Must have all his teeth
Must be skilled in basic housekeeping
Must be self sufficient
No baby mamas
Must have at least a college degree
Must be willing to court/date
Must call instead of text message
We must not be embarrassed by his clothes
Must be within an acceptable age range (no dating daddy or daddy’s son)
Cannot hate his friends (must have at least 2 friends that you like)
Must have a few friends that are happily married
Must have traveled outside of Ohio
Must want to travel
Does not call at 10 pm for dates (able and willing to make plans in advance)
Does not consistently call during booty call hours
Must be handy – routine maintenance
Must be willing and able to cook
Must be willing to spend time with your family
Must respect the shoes
Must have good credit (no majors on their credit report)
Must not be afraid to give a gift
Must understand the importance of sending flowers to work
Must not be a virgin
Cannot be a sexual deviant
Must get along with my friends
Must be complimentary of me (no false or empty compliments)
Must have similar taste in dining style
Must have similar religious views or similar views on the importance of religion
Must have similar political views
Must have a job that provides him with health insurance
Must make me laugh
Cannot have longer nails than I do
Cannot look better in makeup than I do
Cannot use more products than I do when getting ready
Must let you spend the whole night or spends the whole night with you
Must have similar sleeping style
Must be willing to take me on vacation
Must give me the remote in my house
Must be accepting of my taste
Cannot be a mama’s boy
Cannot have more emotional baggage than I do
Cannot be a fixer upper
Cannot own a cowboy hat (even ironically)
Cannot get involved in how much my beauty maintenance costs
Must read for pleasure
Must have rhythm
Must be taller than I am in heels
Must appreciate my sarcasm
Must give a good massage
Must understand my need for silence
Must understand my independence
Must want to make my life better with is presence
Must have good hygiene and good grooming
Cannot be possessive or overly jealous
Cannot have had a sex change
Cannot have been on Maury, Jerry, Rickki, etc
Cannot have had to take a paternity test
Cannot wear more jewelry than I do
Must have a valid driver’s license
Cannot have party plates
Cannot be an oompa loompa
Cannot have frosted tips
I realize that this list eliminates about 80% percent of Cleveland but I haven't been picky enough with who I allow to occupy my life or my heart so this list is a necessity.